Who is Neal Caffrey, anyway?
by ChloeHollingsworth
Summary: Peter realizes there's so much about Neal he doesn't know. Questions of Neal's past finally answered.
1. Chapter 1

After Neal had told Peter his father was a dirty cop, Peter could not help but pry. Peter showed up at Neal's that night. He knocked on the door two or three times and was about to kick the door down because he knew Neal was home when the door opened. Neal leaned against the door way, a look of amusement on his face.

"Peter. What can I do for you this lovely night?"

"Cut the crap, Neal."

Neal smirked and stepped out of the way to let Peter enter. Peter sat down at the table and stared at Neal.

"What?" Neal said, sounding somewhat annoyed.

"What?"

"You're staring at me!"

"No I wasn't."

"Yes you were."

"I think I'd know if I was staring at you and I wasn't."

"I think I'd know if you were staring at me too and you were."

"I was simply observing."

"Observing what?" Neal questioned with a gleam of mischief in his eye.

"Just you. You're acting…different."

"Am I? Must just be distracted with the case and everything."

"So…what's your mother like?"

Neal cast a somewhat irritated look at Peter. "What is it with you?"

"I'm just curious. I mean, you told me your father was a cop, what about your mom?"

"Why are you son interested?"

"Because I spent three years hunting you down and couldn't find a damn thing about you before your 18th birthday." At that, Neal smiled.

"Well, my mystique is part of my charm."

"What is it you're trying to hide?"

"Hide? Peter, I'm not hiding anything. I simply don't enjoy talking about my personal life."

"Why? If there's nothing to hide, why don't you like to talk about it?"

"Well, I don't know everything about you. Tell me about your parents."

"You're changing the subject."

"Yes I am, but if I am telling you about my past why don't you tell me about yours?" Neal asked with a grin.

"Fine." Peter agreed with a huff of annoyance. "What do you want to know?"

Neal smiled, happy to have gotten his way. When Peter saw the ex con's grin, he immediately regretted his choice. "Well, what's your father like?"

"He was a good man. He was a professor."

"Really? What did he teach?"

"History. He taught a lot about World War II and the Civil War." Peter chuckled to himself. "I bet you two would have gotten along real well."

"I'm sorry, Peter." Peter was startled at the con's unexpected words.

"For what?"

"Your father….uh, passed."

Peter was quiet momentarily. "How'd you know that?"

"You said we would have gotten along real well."

Peter had to laugh at that. Leave it to Neal to pick up on that. "Yeah. Yeah, he did. About 10 years ago."

Neal stared at Peter for a moment. "I'm sorry, Peter."

"Thank you." After a too long silence, Peter said, "I answered your question. You have to answer mine now."

"Are we really playing twenty questions?"

Peter chuckled slightly, "Yeah, I guess we are."

"Well, in that case, you owe me like four more answers."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do."

"Well, we're starting over then. So, your father died when you were two? No memories of him, then?"

Neal's jaw noticeably clenched. He sighed heavily. "Peter, I have something to tell you."

**I know this is short, think of it as more of a teaser if it's continued. Let me know your thoughts(:**


	2. Chapter 2

**I just wanted to say quickly that this story is not completely canon. Some things will not be true to the show. So, it's a bit AU. Enjoy.**

"My father didn't die when I was two."

Peter was shocked at Neal's confession. "Why did you lie to me?"

"I didn't lie to you."

"Oh again with that 'I've never lied to you' bullshit, huh?"

"I haven't, Peter." Neal sounded genuinely offended by this.

"Yeah? Because it sure as hell doesn't seem that way to me!"

"When you asked about my father, I said I would tell you what my mother told me. That _is_ what she told me. It just wasn't the truth."

Peter sighed, somewhat irritated. "Well, then, what is the truth, Mr. Honesty?"

Neal swallowed. "He didn't die. He just left." After a long silence, Neal added quietly, "he came back when I was nine."

"Was he really a dirty cop?"

"Yeah. Yeah, he was."

Peter seemed to think about all this for a minute. "Why didn't you just tell me this at first?"

"Because I don't like talking about it. I prefer my personal life to be, you know, _personal_."

"Okay. I can respect that….it just seems like you go through an awful lot of trouble to hide your past."

"It's not that difficult, actually."

"Difficult enough for the FBI not to be able to uncover a damn thing. Even with your skills, eighteen years of your life would not have been that easy to conceal."

Neal smiled when Peter admitted that he had outdone the FBI. "I had some spare time."

"And you thought, 'hey, why not bury my entire childhood' ?"

"More or less."

"I'm assuming more. The first eighteen years of your life are gone, as if they never happened. There had to have been a reason for you to do that."

"I'm not denying there was a reason."

That didn't surprise Peter. Neal didn't do anything without a reason. He was impulsive and had all the self control of a three year old, but he had a reason for everything did, be it logical or not.

"It must have been one hell of a reason."

Neal took a sip of his wine. "It was." After a few minutes, Neal broke the silence that had ensued. "It's my turn to as you a question."

Peter scoffed at this. "Go ahead."

"What made you change your mind and do this whole work release thing? I mean, when I proposed the idea, you turned me down flat. But you changed your mind. Why?"

Peter thought back to that day. Neal had looked so crestfallen when Peter had declined. The light that shone so bright in the young con's eyes seemed to disappear. He went home that night and ate dinner with his wife. She thought he should give Neal a chance. That night, he couldn't sleep. He was thinking about Neal's proposition. And no matter how hard he tried, he could not get the image of Neal, looking so disappointed, out of his mind. He knew this was one risk he needed to take.

"I guess I just decided you'd be more beneficial than harmful."

"Am I?"

Peter laughed slightly. "So far."

Neal smiled. It wasn't his usual grin, but it was sincere.

"Why are you afraid of guns?"

Neal's smile quickly faded. "I'm not afraid of them."

"Oh, well, you sure had me fooled."

"I'm not more afraid of a gun than any other person would be. I mean, they are deadly, Peter."

"Yes, I _know_ that. It just seem like an irrational fear with you."

"It's _not _a fear."

"Okay! Fine, it is not a fear."

"I just don't like them"

"Why?"

"My father used to drink a lot. He'd get a little…unpredictable sometimes. I remember this one time, when I was 14, he was yelling at my mother and he grabbed her. I tried to get him away from her and he just turned around and took out his gun and fired. He missed, thankfully."

Peter was silent for a minute, letting all of that sink in. He looked at his shoes, not knowing what to say.

"The bullet was only an inch from my head." Neal sounded so vulnerable in that moment. He half laughed, though it sounded really similar to a sob. "To this day I don't know if he missed on purpose or if his aim was just off because of the alcohol."

**I know this is really short, but I plan on answering one of those burning questions in each chapter. Let me know your thoughts(:**


	3. Chapter 3

"Do you really think he would have killed you?" Peter asked, having a hard time believing any father could just kill there own son in cold blood. Neal seemed to consider the question for a moment.

"I have no doubt in my mind." Peter was a bit taken aback by Neal's confidence in his answer.

"Why?" The word left Peter's mouth before he could think about it. Neal raised his eyebrows at him. "I'm sorry. Sometimes I talk without thinking about it," Peter said. "Elizabeth says it's one of my less admirable qualities," Peter added in an attempt to lighten the mood a bit.

"You married a smart woman." Peter halfway glared at him. "I believe it's my turn." Peter took that as a warning to drop the subject of Neal's father.

"I guess it is. Go ahead."

"Were you ever in love before Elizabeth?" Peter hadn't been anticipating the question at all, so it took a minute for him to answer.

"I have been, yes."

"Really?" Neal seemed genuinely amused by that. "Who was it?

"I met her at the academy. I joined the police force before the FBI."

"I didn't know that. Who was she?"

"A NYPD officer, like me. Claire."

"Office romance, nice. Tell me about her."

"Well, she was a nice gal, terrific cop, easy on the eyes."

"Of course. What made you fall for her?"

"We were partners. One thing led to another, you know how it goes."

"Sure."

"Well, we'd been dating for a while and the relationship was going good. We both knew how demanding the job was and were used to working late hours, so it just worked, you know?"

"So what happened?" Peter paused for a second before continuing.

"She got killed. It was a drug bust, supposed to be real simple. Just make the deal, make the arrest."

"But it wasn't."

"No. One of the detectives from another precinct on the case with us was working for the drug dealer. After making the exchange, Claire pulled her gun on the dealer and before anyone knew what was going on the detective had shot her."

"I'm really sorry, Peter." Peter gave a sort of half laugh.

"It was a week before our wedding." The moment following that statement was one of the rare times Neal was rendered speechless. Peter was looking at the floor, deep in thought, Neal watching him closely. "Peter, I-"

"Hey, don't worry about it. Anyway, it's my turn." Neal nodded.

"Ask away." Peter knew Neal did not want to talk about his father any longer, but his curiosity got the better of him.

"Why are you so sure your father would have killed you?" Neal's face seemed to drain of all color. Peter was already regretting asking the question and was about to take it back when Neal answered.

"Because I've seen him do it before."

_**It's short, I know! I'm terribly sorry about the long update wait! My inspiration has been running a little low lately. **_

_**Anyways, I'm sorry for the OOCness! I can't write Neal or Peter at all! Hopefully it isn't too much of a deterrent to those reading this! **_

_**Let me know your thoughts(:**_


	4. Chapter 4

Peter was silent, his mouth slightly agape. "What… what do you mean you've 'seen him do it before'?"

The look Neal gave Peter showed his slight irritation toward the older man.

"Sorry. Sorry, that was a stupid question," Peter added quickly. When Neal continued to stare at him, but said nothing, Peter added, "I just meant that I want to know what happened."

Neal exhaled loudly and glanced down at the floor briefly, looked back up at Peter and finally settled his focus on the windows in front of him when he realized he couldn't make eye contact with the agent while he was about to tell him one of his most sacred secrets. He knew telling Peter this secret would lead to a lot more questions, questions he knew he would not want to answer, but something inside him wanted so desperately to trust the older man, to tell him everything.

Making eye contact with Peter again, Neal said, "I don't really know how to tell you all this. I don't know where to start."

"How about you start with telling me who got killed."

"My teacher."

That stumped Peter. "Why would your father want to kill your teacher?"

Returning his gaze to the window, Neal began his story. "When I was 14-"

"A lot seemed to happen when you were 14," Peter interrupted.

Neal paused, but then nodded his head before continuing. "I had this English teacher, Mrs. Smith, and she was great. One day she asked to see me after class. I stayed after and she asked me if anything was going on at home. I told her some things… some things that I shouldn't have told her." Neal took a couple of deep breaths before continuing. "Anyway, she showed up at my house after school about two weeks later."

"I imagine your father wasn't too happy about that."

Neal nodded in agreement. "He was… a little less than thrilled t see her."

"So he killed her?"

Neal nodded his head slowly, looking down at the floor. He clasped his shaking hands together and rested his elbows on his knees, touching his hands to his mouth.

Peter waited a little while before asking his next question. "What did you tell her Neal?"

"I - I told her what was going on at home. You know, with my father."

Peter decided it was probably a good time to take a break from the topic of Neal's father. "I think it's your turn."

Neal looked up at Peter, his expression showing his confusion because he had forgotten they'd been playing a game. "Right. Did you get along with your father?"

It hadn't really been a question Peter was expecting and thus caught him slightly off guard. "Not always, but for the most part, yeah."

Neal stared at Peter quizzically for a moment. "When didn't you get along?"

Peter contemplated that question for a short time while Neal studied him carefully. " Mostly when I'd decided to go into law enforcement."

"He didn't like the idea of you being a cop?"

"I think he'd just always assumed I'd be a professor like him. Go to Harvard, you know, the whole thing."

"Was he disappointed?"

Peter thought about it before answering. "I don't think he was exactly disappointed… more so he just didn't understand my choice."

"You're lucky."

Peter raised an eyebrow at that, but said nothing, waiting for Neal to continue, but he didn't.

Deciding to break the silence, Peter asked, "Would your father be disappointed in you?"

Neal laughed at that. It was a twisted sort of laugh, a laugh that made Peter uncomfortable. "Saying he's be 'disappointed' would be a huge understatement."

"That bad, huh?"

Neal turned and looked at Peter. "Worse." After a few minutes, Neal started the conversation up again. "Did he get over it?"

"Not really, no. He never understood it."

"Huh. Did that bother you?"

"At first, yeah. But I made peace with it. We weren't on bad terms, just neither of us really got the other's way of life."

Neal was quiet for a long while and Peter was trying to think of something to say, but coming up with nothing so he remained silent as well.

"Did he ever hit you?"

Peter looked at Neal who wasn't looking at him.

"No. No, my father would never hurt me."

Neal lapsed back into silence again, not giving any inclination that he'd even heard Peter's answer. Except Peter knew he had.

"Neal, did your father hit you?"

"When I did something wrong, yeah."

Peter shook his head at Neal's answer. "No child deserves to be hit as a means of punishment. What your father did to you was wrong, Neal."

Neal simply shrugged his shoulders.

"Is that what you told Mrs. Smith?"

"More or less."

"More or less?"

"Yes."

"Well, which was it? More or less?"

"More, I guess."

Peter was getting tired of this. He hated that Neal was never just straightforward, he always had to play games. "Your teacher asked if anything was going on between you and your father and you told her your father hit you?"

"Not exactly."

"What exactly was going on between you and your father, Neal?" Peter could feel in the pit of his stomach that something terrible had happened. He knew he was going to regret asking these questions, but he also knew he needed to know the answers.

"That would be a very long conversation, Peter," Neal replied dryly. "If we ever had it."

_**Sorry for the long update waits! **_

_**Did anyone catch my subtle 21 Jump Street reference? "That would be a very long conversation, if we ever had it" was from the episode Mean Streets and Pastel Houses when Hanson asks Brian why he sticks around with the KKK. Just a little piece of trivia for you there haha.**_

_**Anyways,**_

_**Let me know your thoughts(:**_


	5. Chapter 5

**RECAP FROM LAST CHAPTER: **

**"Your teacher asked if anything was going on between you and your father and you told her your father hit you?"**

**"Not exactly."**

**"What exactly was going on between you and your father, Neal?" Peter could feel in the pit of his stomach that something terrible had happened. He knew he was going to regret asking these questions, but he also knew he needed to know the answers.**

**"That would be a very long conversation, Peter," Neal replied dryly. "If we ever had it."**

**CHAPTER 5:**

"**I have all night." Neal simply continued to gaze out the windows, staring fixedly at the stunning New York skyline. "Neal, what happened with your father?" Neal, once again, refrained from responding. "I thought we were playing twenty questions." No response. "You know, Neal, this game only works if you actually answer the questions."**

**There was a long pause, but Neal finally spoke. "Yeah, well, the game wasn't working anyway because you keep skipping my turn."**

**Peter had to hold himself back from laughing at the childishness Neal was portraying at the moment. Even though Peter felt slightly guilty for upsetting Neal with the probing inquiries about his father, he could not keep the small smile from his face at the way Neal was pouting like a petulant four year old. Neal turned to look at Pete, his gaze finally ripped away from the city lights, just in time to see Peter attempting to wipe the smirk off his face. **

"**Oh so now you're mocking me? Really, Peter?"**

**A small chuckle escaped past the agent's lips. "I am not mocking you, Neal."**

"**Oh, are you just in the habit of smirking for no reason, then?" Neal may have seemed angry to anyone who did not know him well, but Peter had spent years hunting this man down. He knew Neal's words held no venom. He could detect the faint amusement in the question. "Honestly, Peter, I expected more maturity from you."**

"**As if you're one to talk about maturity, Caffrey."**

"**What is that supposed to mean?"**

"**Oh nothing. You're the essence of mature."**

"**You're sarcasm hurts, Peter.**

"**No, I'm being serious."**

"**You're not."**

"**I am. You practically ooze responsibility. You're a quintessential adult."**

"**Hey, I can be responsible."**

"**Sure you can."**

"**And I am an adult."**

"**Uh-huh."**

"**Just because you insist on treating me like I'm a child, doesn't mean-"**

"**I treat you like a child because you act like one!"**

"**I do not."**

"**Do too."**

"**Really? Who's the child now, Peter?"**

"**Still you."**

"**You're the one trying to get into a 'do not/do too' argument. I think it is quite clear who's the man lacking the maturity."**

"**It is crystal clear. You're the one whining like a little kid playing a board game because you missed your turn."**

"**First, I did not miss my turn, you skipped it. Second, a childish game deserves a childish reaction."**

"**Yeah, that makes sense," Peter scoffed.**

"**You are the one who decided we should play twenty questions, so don't lecture me about my immaturity."**

**Laughing, Peter shook his head. The smile on his face faded though, as he recalled what their conversation had been about earlier. "Neal, what did you tell your teacher?"**

"**No." Peter was a little taken aback by Neal's flat out refusal. **

"**Neal, I -"**

"**No, it's my turn." **

**Peter's smile returned, albeit briefly. "Okay. Shoot."**

"**Did you ever want kids?"**

**Neal's question was, once again, not exactly what Peter had been anticipating. "I thought about it."**

"**Yeah? Why didn't you and Elizabeth, then?"**

"**I thought you only got one question. Isn't that what you were whining about?"**

"**You were allowed to ask multiple questions."**

"**No, I got scolded for asking multiple questions."**

"**Fine, let's make it even, then. Answer my question."**

"**The timing was just never right."**

"**The timing? You never had kids because the timing wasn't 'right'?"**

"**Neal, kids are a big responsibility. You have to be ready. You have to be in a position to fully care for that child. It's not like having a pet."**

"**I never had a pet."**

"**No? Not even a fish?"**

"**Not even a fish. But this isn't about me right now."**

"**El and I talked about. We wanted kids. Well, just one, actually. But with my hours at the bureau and her event planning just taking off - yeah, the timing wasn't right. We couldn't make it work."**

"**I'm sorry."**

"**Well, it hasn't been a completely unfulfilled dream."**

"**Right, you have Satchmo," Neal grinned.**

"**Yeah, Satchmo," Peter returned the smile knowingly. Some things didn't have to be said. **


End file.
